“Are you hearing me?” Good question. Humans begin hearing sounds, including human voices, in the womb. Hearing, like seeing, is an innate characteristic of humans. We are anatomically designed to hear the noise that surrounds us every day.
“Are you listening to me?” Another good question. Listening is an acquired skill that the person you are speaking to may or may not have mastered. Given the noise a person hears in their immediacy, it is an assumption that you are heard AND are being listened to. There is a stark difference between hearing and listening. You can be aware of a person speaking and not pay attention to their speech.
“Are you actively listening to me?” A better question. To this question “Maybe not” is a common answer. And the reason is “I don’t know how to listen actively.”
What do we know?
Parents and guardians expect their children to hear their adult voices early in life. In the smaller family setting, hearing, and listening to a parent and sibling voices is different than hearing and listening in larger, social, and real-life settings where noise is ubiquitous. Hence, educators teach children to listen.
Focus is essential for listening. However, focus is not easy to attain and harder to sustain. Focus is measured by attention span. These are reasons for us to consider the importance of focus for a listener.
- Humans have an average attention span shorter than the attention span of goldfish. The average focused human attention span is 8.25 seconds. A goldfish pays attention for 9 seconds.
- Attention spans range from 2 seconds to over 20 minutes, seldom longer.
- Females have longer attention spans that males.
- The average human attention span decreased by almost 25% from 2000 to 2015. Technology and media surround us with constant noise resulting in our hearing but not listening to it.
- The average audience attention span is 8 to 10 minutes before needing a shift in delivery or format, though initial engagement (the first 30 seconds) is crucial to grab focus, as it is highly dependent on interest, task, and presentation style.
- Your attention span can be affected by how emotionally engaged you are in a task. It also can be improved by mindfulness.
Our choices are to let children independently develop their natural listening skills or we can teach children to listen. We can adhere to Rousseau and allow a hearing child to wander through life in the belief that experience creates listening skills. Natural listening skills are in each of us, and we just need time and place for these to become effective everyday tools. Natural listening begins with survival – discerning danger – and evolves into listening to the surrounding environment. There is a wealth of wonderful sounds in nature.
Natural learning to listen happens. However, our contemporary world has changed compared to the time of Rousseau and has magnified sounds into noise. As children grow, they need to discern the information heard within all the noise that surrounds us. Information may be glorious melodies or the klaxon of emergency vehicles. Or ideas that excite us to learn more. Listening elicits responses to what is heard.
Many people today show untrained listening characteristics. They hear. They recognize the source or speaker. They may acknowledge the topic of the speaker. Then, they fade into being untrained listeners. Their focus wanders. They insert their own ideas. They start to create a rebuttal before the speaker has finished. Or their thinking pursues unrelated tangents. Some of the untrained just shut down their listening when they should listen because they do not know how. Then all sounds are noise.
So, we teach children to listen. Listening begins by hearing something or someone producing a sound to be listened to. Hearing is a physiological phenomenon; listening is a psychological act. People are always hearing, most of the time subconsciously. Listening is a choice. It is the interpretative action taken by someone to understand and potentially make sense of something heard. Active listening is an acquired skill we need to teach to children.
There are other good reasons to become good listeners.
- Good listeners are more likable. Individuals with strong listening skills are present in the conversation. People who listen with focus are perceived to be more likable people.
- Good listeners build stronger relationships. Communication is not a one-way street. Good listeners show interest, ask open-ended questions, and acknowledge what is being said. This helps reduce misunderstandings and build stronger relationships.
- Good listeners have a clearer understanding of the topics in discussion. Individuals with refined listening skills try to fully understand a speaker’s message. They pay attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues and ask for clarification when needed.
https://online.maryville.edu/blog/types-of-listening
What do we know?
Parents are children’s first teachers of listening skills. With their first “Say ‘Mama/Dada” parents teach an infant to associate sounds and words with a desired meaning. A parent says a word and coos to give it meaning, or holds up a toy and names it, or points to food on a spoon and names it. They speak “baby talk” to encourage their baby to make a desired association. Most parents do not have training in this; they are not taught how to teach their child to listen. Parents do what they remember being done for them, or what family members tell them to do. Others talk with their peers to learn how to talk to their baby. In general, infants from birth to pre-school or instructional daycare are subjected to several years of popular, culturally informed parenting.
The Science of Early Learning provides 22 techniques for parents to try in their efforts to move their baby from hearers of sounds to a baby who is building skills as a listener. A search of the literature, including the tenth edition of Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care, provides a plethora of resources for parents to teach their children to be listeners.
https://thescienceofearlylearning.com/tips/how-to-talk-to-babies
By age 4, children reflect many of their parents’ listening characteristics. Children hear us even when we do not want to be heard. An infant’s auditory vocabulary is influenced by and mirrors the words, vocabulary, sentence structures, and dialects their parents or their older siblings use. Babies soak up everything they see and hear a parent do because they have no filtering mechanisms.
When infants do not begin to micmic parents and siblings, there is worry that hearing may be impaired. That is why schools are mandated through Child Find activities to use auditory testing to verify a child’s hearing
In Wisconsin, schools, daycares, pre-schools, and local physicians partner to inform young parents about the Child Find activities of local elementary schools. One of the screenings typical of a Child Find appointment is a hearing assessment. Teachers work with parents in primary school when either believes that a student/child has difficulty hearing. Testing and diagnosis can lead to further testing and perhaps to special education service and accommodations.
What do schools do to teach listening skills?
Who at school teaches children to be listeners? Many people talk to children every school day but are not teaching listening. Active listening is a concise curriculum in all grades and in all subjects.
Schools are mandated in WI Stats 118.01(2)(a)1. to teach children basic skills “… by listening …” One of a 4K-K teacher’s first actions each morning is gaining student attention, channeling them from all the noise surrounding them as they get out of a family car or school bus, enter the school, put their things on hallway hooks or in cubbies or lockers, and enter their classroom. As the sounds of their classmates surround them, children hear their teacher say, “Sit down. Eyes on me. Give me your ears.” And so, school listening instruction begins.
Veteran kindergarten teachers look like magicians to parents of 4-year-olds gathered for kindergarten round ups and orientations. They efficiently quiet squirming kids and boisterous children as easily as they might herd cats. For most veterans, the use of curated commands, signals, words, voice, body language, and attitude over time work to change behaviors and make children active listeners. Effective teaching at all levels incorporates myriads of indirect communications that move a hearing child to a listening student.
https://www.fayschool.org/kindergarten-readiness/six-strategies-to-teach-kids-to-listen
The mandate for direct instruction also derives from our state’s adoption of the Common Core ELA standards. All children are to be instructed in listening, as well as reading, writing, and speaking. The Wisconsin DPI standards place listening and speaking in the context of effective communications. Students are to be active and “productive communicators” in a wide variety of school and life circumstances.
https://www.coreknowledge.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/CK_CCSS_ELAAlignment.pdf
The ELA mandate reads –
“Speaking and Listening Standards – Introduction
These standards are directed toward developing students’ abilities to productively participate in communicative exchanges. Productive participation means that students are able to communicate in large groups, small groups, and one-on-one exchanges with varied audiences, for varied purposes, and in varied situations; can respond to and develop what others have said; can contribute accurate, relevant information; and can analyze and synthesize a multitude of ideas in various domains. Students must have ample opportunities to take part in a variety of conversations and communicative exchanges to practice and apply these standards. Some standards repeat from grade-level to grade-level in recognition of the fact that students’ understandings develop and deepen over time. The ultimate goal of these standards is that students are able to understand and make flexible choices in their use of language in order to meet their communicative goals with varied audiences, for varied purposes, and in varied situations.”
https://dpi.wi.gov/sites/default/files/imce/ela/resources/Standards%20Listening.pdf
Each phrase in the above introduction points to a facet of effective communication and the last sentence poses the capstone – to meet communicative goals with varied audiences, for varied purposes, and in varied situations. Additionally, the fluid use of the word “varied” causes all listening skills instruction to be embedded in subject, content, or skills instruction. The context is listening within the instruction of reading, math, art, or PE. Seldom do teachers provide naked listening skill instruction devoid of a context for listening to something to be learned.
Elementary teachers focus early instruction on simple listening skills and, with repetition, increase the complexity of listening. Children are taught to discern these:
- Audience – Is the speaker talking only to me or to a small group or to a large group. Who am I in the audience?
- Purpose – Am I to listen for directions, information, entertainment, or is this a conversation?
- Situations – How important is my listening? Is this casual, focused, important, or emergency?
- Responding based upon purpose – What am I to do? Do I repeat what is heard, interpret what is heard, personalize what is heard, or remember what is heard?
- Next – How do I use what I heard to be ready for what is next?
Teachers prepare and move children from one learning activity to another many times during a school day. Teachers use routine signals to alert children to listen. They may flick the classroom lights on and off, use a chime, or a buzzer. The concept is that the signal alerts children to listen. Once alerted to listen, a teacher focuses students to listen for “who is to do what, how, when, and why.” Ten to fifteen minutes later, another signal is used, students are alerted to listen, and the class moves into another activity.
Many listening skills are universal for school children. Given the age of elementary learners, a great deal of instructional time is devoted to group expectations and how an individual student in a group or classroom listens. One college’s teacher prep program stresses the “Three As of listening – attitude, attention, adjustment.” Teachers must shape children’s behavior first to an attitude of community. A recognition that all classmates matter is a huge first step for a 4K-K child. Once teachers have each child moving from “me” to “we,” the teacher creates, uses, and reinforces strategies for gaining student visual and auditory attention. We pay attention to what we are looking at, and visual attention helps us to block out the noise so we can focus on the sounds coming from the person being seen. In evolving from hearing to focused listening, a child is ready to adjust to what is being said, asked, or directed.
Put into context, the routine above is used to prepare children for whole group activities, like recess or lunch. Listening routines also are used to prepare students for reading group instruction, or individual work time at interest centers in the classroom.
Ready to listen is different from listening
Hearing to listen is a first step. Listening for a purpose is a second. Listening as preparation for doing something based upon what one listens to is a new step. Studies show we remember only between 25-50% of what we hear – the rest is abandoned as noise. After ten minutes of listening, most people begin to drift. Unfocused listening results in an awareness of less than 25% of what we hear.
https://www.mindtools.com/az4wxv7/active-listening
Based upon these studies, teachers learn to “chunk” communications they want children to hear, listen to, remember, and be able to respond to or act upon. To do this, there are several time-tested cues for getting a child to listen and follow directions. The institutional experiences of Boys Town tell us to do these to help children be ready to listen.
When communicating with children –
- Stay calm
- Be direct
- State commands positively
- Give one command at a time
- Give age-appropriate instructions
- Give brief reasons
- Be physically present
- Ask the child to repeat the instruction
- Reward compliance
- Make sure you mean it
https://www.boystown.org/parenting/Pages/how-to-get-your-child-to-listen.aspx
Listening for what?
So far, we have addressed the importance of listening, the mandate to teach children to listen, and the general routines and frameworks for listening. The next level, teaching children to be active listeners, is where the effective communications expectations of the mandates make an educational difference.
Accuracy. For decades teachers have heard and used the phrase “checking for understanding.” We ask children to repeat what they listened to you say. A correct response conveys congruence – the child heard and listened to what you said. Asking multiple children to repeat what they listened to you say creates an accountability for listening.
Do not be surprised when a child’s repeating what they heard you say is nothing like what you said. They “heard,” they did not “listen.” Listening is a learned skill. Patience and persistence are required. Simply tell your information a second time and again check for understanding. And perhaps a third and fourth time, if necessary. Accuracy matters.
Because listening is an acquired skill and “acquiring” requires time to learn and time is a valuable instructional commodity, teachers sadly diminish checking for understanding over time. Teaching accuracy in listening takes time and time wasted due to misunderstanding is far greater than the time to check for initial understanding.
Detail. Active listening requires an ear for details, and we can teach children to pay attention to details. The first step is to write down the details as they are verbally given. Check for understanding on the details. A second step is to create “responsibility” for details. One student listens for the “who,” another for the “what,” another for the “how,” another for the “to what degree,” and another for the “when.” Check for understanding. Rotate responsibilities as some details are given at the end of the directions and everyone must listen to the entire direction.
I observe high quality teachers in middle and high school classrooms checking for understanding. Not only is this what the mandate tells us to do, it is best practice. Checking assures accuracy and detail in student learning.
Nuance. Many of the things we listen to are loaded with clues as to the feelings and values and dispositions of the speaker. Accuracy and details may be further understood by the way they are delivered. Teachers are not robotics delivering information in monotoned voices. They imbue what they tell children with the excitement and suspense of new learning. Children need to understand nuance and identify when it supplies extra meaning to their listening. Have children listen specifically for descriptor words and phrases; listen to the adjectives and adverbs and prepositions. Ask listeners to interpret the socio-emotional flavor of what they listened to.
Clarification and response. Assign listening students to craft a clarifying question after their listening. Is there a detail that is not clear enough? Is there a possible early response a listener wants to try out while still in a checking for understanding phase? Consider all the time teachers spend answering student questions after the work has begun. When children ask clarifying questions at the time of the directions they demonstrate and reinforce their skills as active listeners.
Synergy. Active listening demonstrates a respect and rapport between teacher and students. When the speaker and listeners are actively engaged, speakers are encouraged to be more descriptive of details and nuance. Respect for the speaker
To propel student learning, communications must become two-way, respectful, challenging, and nuanced. It may require specific vocabulary and exact terms. As communication becomes more focused on specific outcomes, the need for listening and responding skills become even greater.
How do we know a child is an active listener?
Generalized, active listening is hearing, paying attention, listening, and an ability to respond to what is listened to. These statements cover the waterfront of how children and teachers engage in school communications, especially as children get older.
These are signs that a child is an active listener.
- Pays attention. When paying attention, there is about a one second lag between the speaker speaking and the listener’s brain hearing.
- Shows that she is listening. Visually looks at the speaker, shows facial expressions equal with what is said, and takes notes.
- Provides feedback. Repeats key points to prove listening.
- Defers judgment.
- Responds appropriately. Asks valid and respectful questions, summarizes key points, suggests what you want to know or do next.
https://www.mindtools.com/az4wxv7/active-listening
Elevating active listening to upper-level listening.
Knowing that active listening is within the listener yet is cued by teacher communication, we can elevate active listening by moving our teaching interactions from the lower three levels – remembering, understanding, and applying – to higher levels of thinking – analyzing, evaluating, and creating. The sociometrics of a classroom conversation change drastically when we move from asking students for the recall or interpretation of knowledge to the comparing and contrasting ideas, evaluating an idea’s significance, or generating fresh solutions. Instead of teacher-student interactions, conversations become student-student exchanges. Teachers use wait time to assure students have time to consider their arguments while using body language to assure a student who is eager to contribute will be able to do so. Active listening leads to intellectual excitement – the teaching moments teachers cling to in their memories of classroom work.
https://cft.vanderbilt.edu/guides-sub-pages/blooms-taxonomy
The United States State Department provides these four keys to their personnel about listening skills and they can be applied to any upper-level listening.
1. Seek to understand before you seek to be understood.
2. Be nonjudgmental
3. Give your undivided attention to the speaker
4. Use silence effectively.
This is sound advice to any teacher who is an ambassador for student learning.
https://2009-2017.state.gov/m/a/os/65759.htm
The Big Duh!
It may be that active listening skills are the most important life skill we teach to children in school. Active listening is crucial in every aspect of life. And, as the volume of noise in the world increases, knowing the difference between hearing and listening will be a valued skill.
Every teacher is responsible teaching active learning. We fail when we believe that by middle school all children know how to be active listeners. Good listening skills must be taught and practiced in every grade and every subject for every child. Given all the noise in the world, it is too easy for any child, or adult, to slide into the noise.